Journal!

!!

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:15:23 GMT

Where the river meats the SEA

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:46:34 GMT

SO what would you get if you took the rustic adorableness of Port Townsend, the annoying touristyness and hickatude of Port Angeles, and the concrete stripmall asthetic of Silverdale and dropped them next to Salt Creek? well if you slap on 30 acres of motels you got yerself SEASIDE OREGON.

The Hostel im staying at smells like a RV, and im pretty sure im the only person thats not from here that hangs around in the common room. about an hour after I arrived an airraid siren began to wail. I looked around at people around me, and none of them seemed to notice. Were bombing runs common around here? Shouldnt i be getting to a church, the only place the black pyramid cannot tread?

I ducked into a Laundymat because I heard what sounded like a TV, and sure enough there was a tiny set bolted to the wall playing fairly odd parents for all the folks waiting for their laundry to dry. Also available was approximately 30 lbs of Korean comic books from I can only assume somtime between 1983 and 1984

I think im leaving tomarrow...

Portland: best city evar?

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 20:13:54 GMT

Alright so I'm heading to the coast today, so I figured while I'm here I should make a final report on this City of Bridges. Portland kicks ass. I love it here. I kind of dont want to leave. My mind might just be dazzled by coming in right in the beginning of summer, so everything is blooming and the weather is warm and everyone is happy. Or maybe its just still riding high on the excitment of coming into a new place, being on my own, meeting new people and looking at stuff with the saucer plate eyes of a tourist. Maybe its because im staying at Hostels, and meeting tons of interesting folk from all around th' globe.

But people Ive talked to, who are from here, agree. There is something about this town. It feels very cohesive. Fun to explore but exceedingly easy to get around, thanks to free public transit and the shortest blocks in the country. Maybe its because of the easygoing vibe put off by all the hippies and hipsters this town attracts with is progressive policies and multitudes of organic food stores. I cant put my finger on it but this is definitely going to be a town that i'll miss, absolutely a town i'll return to.

Universal Serial BUTT

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:04:27 GMT

Sorry about the lack of pics, FELLAS, but ive yet to find a computer with a functioning USB port. BUT IM WORKIN ON IT!

WITH GUSTO!

To tide you over here is a recent picture of me

You COULD say its a LAND of PORTS! ho ho ho

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 19:54:00 GMT

HAY GUYS! So have you ever wanted a town that has like 30 Framestores per block AND free public transportation AND HOBOS? man well have I got a town for you guy! its called PORTLAND! and im there! or here!

I snuck into a Zoo and saw and Otter, but was quickly arrested and sent to a zoo-lag in Siberia

I hung out with Win Butler, the lead singer of the the Arcade Fire. He thinks the Flaming Lips have been phoning in their shows for the last couple of years. I couldn't say. I asked to take a picture of him but then immediately felt bad, because he just wanted to watch the acrobat show. His wife Regine was adorable and was blushingly flattered upon any praise.

I also saw a goat at the zoo! He was named Uncle Sam! some say its because of his beard, I suspect it was because HE WANTS YOU! TO BRING HIM SOME CANS TO EAT!

On my way to find Washington Park, a bright green flier caught me eye. It suggested i could get monies by SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT! Ive always been pretty pro trees so I took one. by 4 that day I had a job. A fulltime job, bugging people to give me money. IT KINDA SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY GOOD AT IT. im only gonna keep the job for a week or so, probably. HAY YOU GUYS MEASURE 37 SUCKS OKAY!?

Im totally homeless cuz my Hostel kicked me out! Maybe I can crash at Uncle Sam's place

he seemed like a cool guy

Walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures...

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Thu, 03 May 2007 10:20:57 GMT

So the first leg of my venture of indeterminate duration is so far pretty successful. Been hangin out at chez Tobin, reading a lot, watching a lot of discovery channel and spending a lot of money on food. Ive eaten out every day since ive gotten here, but I figure im kind of on vacation so I might as well live it up a little. I was gonna leave right before my birthday but im getting a little itchy up here so i might head down to seattle sooner rather than later. The fun part is goin' places, not actually bein there. but since so many people have been asking here's my tenetive plan:

stay up here till the 18th, maybe sooner, then head down to seattle for awhile. head back to the lion's den, PA, and meet up with the boys to drive down to portland and see THE ARCADE FUCKING FIRE OH MY GOD.

Then im prolly gonna head south, eventually meeting up with Mad down in ashland, maybe staying in some cool hostels along the way. Then me and Mad are gonna stage a daring jewel heist that involves brilliant sleight of hand, shoes with a secret compartment and an orangatan with a mysterious past.

From there i'll head to California, whose motto is Do Not Fear Our Giant Prehistoric Trees. I wanna see all the standart California stuff,
San Fransisco: put some flowers in my hair and leave behind a vital organ,
Los Angeles: meet Vick Mackey, get pummeled by a phonebook until I tell him where Im keeping that little girl
San Diego: um...see...Mexico? I guess?

From there i'll head maybe to Pheonix and hang out with Fawkes, then up to Vegas. Id tell you what I wanna do there but I guess most of it has to stay there. I'll give a tantalizing tidbit, though. Sea-cows.(see above)

These plans are 1 million percent subject to change, depending on how much money I have, how sick I am of going down on truckers and how many hobo stab wounds im enduring. Along the way I will be checking out rental prices and jobs in case I wanna try and find a place to settle down, or lie low until the heat dies down. My real goal is to find a place where the sidewalks are made so that the cracks co-incide with the size of my natural gait so I may step only on the cracks, thereby deftly avoiding the lava, without changing my stride. when I find this place, there I shall stay until ive grown old, and there shall I be buried. but until then, I wander

Videos killed the internet star

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:01:27 GMT

It was Chris' 21st birthday last friday, so we filmed a birthday toast for him cuz he couldnt be here to take it with us

Ive been feelin awful nostalgic the last couple of days so I put together this thing from various videos I took at my going away party. It was hard to resist using "Time of your Life" but somehow I prevailed.

Good artists copy, great artists steal

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 23:11:32 GMT

So just below the surface of civilized life, a storm is brewing. A secret war, like in Underworld, but with less awesome whip action. On one side is Todd Goldman, a tremendous man born in the mountains, with skin like an elephant and eyes full of wonder. And who shall oppose him? Everyone else on the planet. Todd Goldman is hilarious. His claim to fame is a Tshirt with the slogan "Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them" emblazoned across it. Paragon of modern humor is possibly a strong expression, but I think it is apt here.

It started reletivily innocuously with a post on the Something Awful forums, wherin a long time and respected forum member/comic artist, inter-named Shmorky, proclaimed Todd Goldman ripped him off. He then posted this image

that's shmorky's on the left. The Goldman version is apparently in an Art Gallery in LA, which apparently has the world's worst art galleries. so yeah, pretty blatant, I thought. what a cum dumpster, I mused. But I was unaware the magnitude of this Todd Goldman's love for theft, and presumbably child molestation. another image surfaced

this is an overlay of an earlier iteration of the same Goldman drawing. Not only did he ripp Shmorky off, he LITERALLY TRACED IT! Wow, I thought! This guy is a fucking hack. Then today, I found how deep the rabbit hole goes. I found this on Penny-Arcade

"Hi, Gabe.

I love your work, and I've been a fan for ages. I myself am a designer/illustrator, and I've got some extra info on Goldman that you might find interesting.

About a year ago, David and Goliath contacted me to produce a series of 'Threadless like' shirt designs. I no longer have the original email, so I can't say for sure whether it was Goldman who emailed me personally. Anyway, I declined because I'm pretty good friends with the guys at Threadless and I didn't feel like ripping their style for someone else. It turns out he didn't need me after all, because this week David and Goliath released this series of shirts, which bears a striking resemblance to those currently for sale at Threadless. Check the comparison image linked below:

This is pretty jaw droppingly blatant.Im amazed that this asshole is JUST NOW getting recognized for being an asshole. But then, the final nail came when I found this site.

He literally takes clip art and google image searches, slaps a retarded slogan on them, and sells tshirts for 20 bucks a pop. As an "artist" this is physically painful to see. I feel wounded. With so many creative people languishing, this guy manages to build an empire of shit by harnessing his ability to make up retarded slogans. So hopefully this guy, who i'd honestly never heard of before this came up, gets the public reaming he deserves.

Opus, I think is maybe the wrong word. I prefer MASTERPIECE

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 04:18:27 GMT

And if you listen quiet, you can hear the footsteps on the cross trees...

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:43:35 GMT

So I was watching American Hardcore last night, which is about the Hardcore Punk scene in the early 80s, and it bummed me out. Why doesnt anyone give a shit about anything anymore? Where are the movements? where's the passion? Is it a Port Angeles thing? part of me cant help but feel like it might be, but it seems more widespread. Then this got me thinkin about it in an even broader sense. Like, the last time we were tangled in a bullshit war, there were widespread protests and demonstrations and shit. But now, despite the fact that the population of America is overwhelmingly against the war in Iraq, no one is doing anything about it. It seems the only people who bother protesting is the religious right about how much they hate gay people. It seems that the polarization of America has resulted in, or hell possibly caused by, an extreme, motivated right and complacent left. How else could you explain

Stephen Colbert made a joke that we should bring back the draft, so people will have a personal interest in ending the war like they did in the 60s. "Now a days what does the goverment have to worry about? 'what? people are against the war? oh no! THEY'RE BLOGGING!'" and the sad part is how totally true it is. It seems like overall this is a generation of apathy.

Like, is it just me or have we gotten too good at being a culture? We strive for equality and good health and to protect our kids from the evils of dangerous playground equipment and potty words, but it seems kinda like instead of making everything good, we've just made everything vanilla? Sometimes I feel like I never bothered with the whole "rebellious youth" angle because I had nothing to rebel against. I hung out and played video games. that was it. and maybe that's good. I mean watching a movie about the Hardcore Punk scene sure made it look glamorous, but did I really want to live in squats and kidnap and slaughter goats to feed my friends? Or do I just yearn for the romance of it. Once again its hard to say with such limited experience.

Maybe this is just another example of me pretending that everyone else thinks the way I do, of my depression coloring my outlook. Maybe I look at my own apathy, my own laziness and total lack of inspiration, and blame the generation I was born in. Its easier to cope with being listless when it you can just pretend that everyone else is just as apathetic as you are. Maybe once I get out of the cave and stop making assumtions about the world based on the shadows playing against the wall then i'll find a world of passionate people striving to make a difference. That would kick ass.

Just call Dr. Strings

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:02:40 GMT

SO this was going to be a reply to Tobin in my last Navy related post BUT I was talkin to the recruiter guy about Sarah Weatherbee, and apparently she scored higher on the Nuke entrance exam than ANYONE.

EVER.

Seriously, Sarah Weatherbee could be in a history book somewhere. Or at the very least a guiness book. which is like history.

In the Navy, we've got hats and boats and guns!

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 22:35:30 GMT

So yeah, I went and talked to a Navy recruiter again, and much to my suprise active military service is becoming a terrifyingly viable option. I get to ride around on boats, and learn to tapdance and wear a funny hat and karate chop terrorists, probably. What I wanna do is become a Navy linguist, which could entail being a translator, which sounds pretty cool. Like, I could wear a black suit and tie and keep my gaze cast downward and dutifully translate the ramblings of wildeyed despots. And then I would overhear plans of an assasination attempt and Sean Penn would be assigned to protect me, and OH the sexual tension would be absolutly DELECTABLE.

I also took a test that sort of guages how i'd take some other test to get into The Navy, and in order to pass, you need like 38, the national average is like 45 something, if you get above 60 you're pretty much set to get any job you want, and you need something like an 85 to qualify to be a fucking nuclear engineer. I scored 93. I want to believe that makes me incredible, but I have the feeling it speaks more toward the calibur of badass that try out for military service. The recruiter guy seemed pretty impressed so I can at least take solice that ive pleased him, which is all I really cared about in the first place

But we still froze, when we saw the ghost

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 05:03:13 GMT

Does really not liking retards make me a bad person? I mean its not like I blame them for being retarded, but as an impoverished youth, public transportation (or the welfare wagon as no one calls it) has become my only means of transportation, outside of the occasional Brad. And the only people that like riding the bus more than tweakers are those of the challenged persuasion. and they fucking piss me off!

Its not like I throw things at them or knock over their huge cart of toys and library books, but when they start trying to talk to me about their cat that may or may not exist, or how much they want to see Flushed Away, I cant help but feel an immense swell of just ANGER. Does my restraint redeem me? I dont ignore them, though my answers are usually "heh, yeah." or a non commital "oh? okay" regardless of wether I can understand what they are saying to me. and the thing is if it was a little kid telling me the same exact story, id totally be enthralled. Maybe...maybe I just hate ugly people, and if Retards were adorable Id just ride the bus for fun!

Go to sleep now, little ugly. Go to sleep now, you little fool

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 22:08:41 GMT

So I think im losing weight! Want my secret? Well here's the health craze that will soon be sweeping th' nation. Being fucking poor. My dire finacial situation has made healthy(ish) livin a necessity. Too poor to fix the car that I couldnt afford to fill with gas in the first place? Try walking downtown everyday to catch a bus! that ends up being somewheres around 16 blocks a day of walkin! Its not that much, but still...ya know...walkin!

Also when you are as broke as the proverbial joke your dietary needs take a back seat to the lamentations of you bank account. So where I used to eat wendy's every day plus pop and a bunch of other shit, I now pretty much eat ramen two meals a day (man, what a cliche college student I am, am I right? I might as well eat my ramen out of a fucking beer bong. also, let me just add "woo. spring break!")

so yeah, for all you out there on the inter-tubes wanting to drop some vanity pounds, may I suggest moving out of your house and then quitting you steady job in favor of one that doesn't actually pay you bills, then watch that weight just fall away!

man I need to find those old comics

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:37:44 GMT

The homies have begun dispersing, the real LJing can begin

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 22:31:35 GMT

Long have I held the position that an LJ is mostly pointless when 90% of your readership you see every day. as much as it pains my blackened heart to type the words, this is no longer the case. The Port of Angeles has recently experienced a severe hemmorage of cool people, leaving the remaining few to huddle together and try to beat back the proverbial undead hoarde of boredom and rednecks the P town is known for. So as much as ive resisted over these past years, I feel a responsibility to our scattered rabble, formerly a sailors knot of comradery now thrown across three cities and two states, to inform them of my every waking thought and my every move from dawn till dusk. This LJ will be a chronicle of the stunning array of comic pratfalls and profound truths that form every stitch of the awe inspiring tapestry this is my life.

I am bored all the time and I dont know why. Whenever I am at the East 10th house, or "The Rock" as unfortunatly no one has taken to calling it, I and overwhelmed by restlessness. I can barely take a nap in my own room because I am so bereft of contentment. I cant figure it out. when I go to my folks' house I have no trouble whiling away the time watching Project Runway or feeding my hours one by one into the malfunctioning soda machine that is the internet. Maybe I felt like moving out of the house would suddenly make my life instantly more amazing. Like as soon as I started paying rent, the misguided adventures of youth would never cease. Maybe some part of me expected nothing but panty raids and get rich quick schemes. But its mostly sitting around and playing Saints Row, with some Nip/Tuck thrown in (which I must say is usally the highlight of my day).

The company is really good, and its not like we dont have good times joking around and what have you, but for some reason I cant shake the feeling of resless unease. Perhaps it will subside in time, but it seems like its a problem that requires a more proactive solution. I think mostly its just another sign that i need to move outta this goddam town, something that it seems like everyone else has already figured out but me.

Man, was that absurdly whiney?

The answer is a definite probably

Regardless I am gonna try update more to keep everyone informed of how awesome port angeles is

the answer is very

Good christ, I am fucking terrified

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 10:16:01 GMT

I just watched The Descent, a british movie from the guy who did Dog Soldiers, about a bunch of ladeez who go caving and (gasp) encounter some fucking sliming monster bastards. The movie is awesomely lit because its all practical lighting, headlamps and the like. Aka the movie is really fucking dark and scary as shit, especially when you watch it in the middle of the night, in the dark, with headphones on.

So I finish the movie, and like I do, I check it out on IMDB. after getting fucking outraged that the American release is going to totally change the ending, which is PRETTY BADASS, GUYS THESE COLORS DONT RUN GOD BLESS UNITED STATES OF FREEDOM, I decide to go to the bathroom to antibiotic up this cut on my finger that's been buggin me. I had forgotted that the lightbulbs in the bathroom had burnt out, so I open the door and sqint into inky darkness for a moment. This is an action that I cannot recommend after watching a movie about FUCKING CAVE MONSTERS THAT LIVE IN DARKNESS AND SHIT. I almost screamed outloud. I ran to my room and grabbed for the lightswitch but then remembered that the bulb in my room was out as well and was met with only darkness and possible, nay, PROBABLE fucking monsters! I then RAN upstairs and decided this was a good Livejournal story.

THE END

PS. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM TONIGHT

SAMUEL JACKSON HAS HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 09:17:18 GMT

SNAKES ON A PLANE TRAILER

SAMUEL L JACKSON + SNAKES=ACADEMY AWARD

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 07:59:05 GMT

Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
so there is this girl i sat next to today and she is obssessed with giant squid
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
oh my god
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
its finally happened
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
i know
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
i said i was too
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
and then she asked if i wanted to work with her on the final project
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
DUDE YOU ARE SO FUCKING IN
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
haha
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
DUDE I AM NOT JOKING
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
is she even remotly cute?
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
yes i suppoooooose
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
but she has boy short hair
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
which is a no go flo in my book
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
I think you are forgetting the giant squid aspect
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
what is her position on chomp
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
spread eagle
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
missionary
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
doggy style
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
spread eagle is not a real sexual position, stop getting your sexual terms from Chicago
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
haha dude
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
if its in chicago
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
its official
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
I've always been a fan of the ol "mr. cellophane" position
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
which, unsurprisingly, involves lots of cellophane
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
I was actually kinda suprised
Chemical and Mrs. Ali says:
I mean, the glass bottom boat has nothing to do with sailing
Kalen’s brain, which speaks aloud, says
obviously you arnt doing it right

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 10:16:59 GMT

This Program rocks an astounding amount of ass. It's simple and scarily effective. I love the webbernet

Underworld: Evolution was a good movie!

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 07:35:03 GMT

I liked Underworld...kkkinda. It was a cool concept with a pretty strong story that was held back by some shitty acting, directing and blood stoppingly terrible action sequences. But you could tell this was a story that these guys really were into and wanted to tell. Evolution makes me wish that its predecessor wasn't so lame.

The directing was still a little wonky, with a little case of shaky cam, but overall the action was rock-solid. There are some really good deaths and some excellent gore, as well. It was pretty much all CG, no practical effects, but very cool none-the-less. And the story and characters are pretty well done as well. There were some loose ends here and there but overall it was strong, and methinks the loose ends were intentional to be tied up in a third installment which I would be lying if I said I wasn't hotly anticipating.

Also Kate Beckinsale gets naked. No nipples, no snatch, but she is very very naked and they pretty much show everything but, and I gotta say it was way hotter that way. A shot of her gyrating hip is all I need, brother. Plus there were some random vampire chick boobs to make up for it. All in all a confoundingly excellent followup to a mediocre setup

5/7 ghosts

Haha wait, I need to give it another ghost based on Bill Nighy's showstopping cameo. I have never seen such a beautifuly overacted speech in all my years, comedy gold. The only other actor who may be able to take the prize from him is Mathew Lillard in Dungeon Siege. He is your king.

6/7 ghosts

hahahahaha, duuuude...I should not be laughing this hard

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 02:45:50 GMT

Ten Top Trivia Tips about My butt!

There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with my butt and water.
In Japan it is considered rude to talk with my butt in your mouth!
Four-fifths of the surface of my butt is covered in water!
In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from my butt.
If you break my butt, you will get seven years of bad luck!
My butt can sleep for three and a half years.
Every day in the UK, four people die putting my butt on.
My butt can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory!
The liquid inside my butt can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
My butt will often glow under UV light!

Flickr! woo!

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 08:42:11 GMT

Hay guys www.Flickr.com is good stuff when it comes to uploading pictures. Go HERE for New Yarz pics!

My face is currently the capitol of Ouch-ania (our key export is HOLY FUCK MAN, OW!)

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 02 Jan 2006 09:17:33 GMT

MAN OH MAN CLEARASIL PADS HAVE ALCOHOL IN THEM. That is a pretty tremendous discovery to make, especially when using immediately after shaving

Seriously, McCauley, I can fucking deal

New Years was fun, although I sadly did not see Tobin's wang, but that is just something i'm going to have to learn to live with. Lots of pics* coming but this is the only one of any real significance

We saw Jar Jar's SUV.

*Not of Tobin's wang...THAT I KNOW OF

Nathan_42@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 Dec 2005 05:17:24 GMT

Today I bought the Princess Bride on DVD just so i could get the cashback from my debit card because the ATM was broken, and I needed someone to buy a rated R DVD for me because I didn't have my ID with me. I found that to be pretty silly

Also my mom went to Highschool with Terry O'Quinn, although at that time he was just Terry Quinn.

Aka John Locke from Lost. I also found that to be silly. He was always tryin ta get into the Janitor's closet, which was always locked. "All roads lead to this closet" he'd say.

that's a true story.

well the first part

not so much the janitor thing...